From raw language to converting copy

Alright. You've collected the language. You've found the anti-marketing moments.

Now let's turn it into copy that actually moves product.

Here's the simplest framework I know:

"How [specific person] goes from [vivid pain] to [concrete benefit] without [biggest fear]."

That's it. Four blanks. Fill them in using the exact language your customers gave you.

Let me show you how this works.

I worked with a brand selling a sleep supplement for moms.

We surveyed their best customers and asked: "What was happening the moment you knew you needed help with sleep?"

The responses were gold:

"I snapped at my toddler over spilled juice and just started crying."

"I was so tired I put my phone in the fridge and the milk on the counter."

"I couldn't remember the last time I felt like myself."

And when we asked what they were afraid of when looking for a solution:

"I didn't want something that would make me groggy or out of it with the kids."

"I was scared of feeling like a zombie the next day."

From those responses, we built the framework:

Specific person: Moms with toddlers (they said "toddler," so we used it)
Vivid pain: "Can't remember the last time I felt like myself" (direct quote)
Concrete benefit: "Finally sleep through the night" (what they wanted)
Biggest fear: "Without feeling like a zombie the next day" (their exact words)

The headline became: "How moms with toddlers who can't remember the last time they felt like themselves finally sleep through the night … without feeling like a zombie the next day."

Every single phrase came from their mouths. Not ours.

"Felt like myself." "Toddler." "Zombie."

Not "improved sleep quality." Not "enhanced rest." Not "mothers of young children."

The words they actually said.

And here's the key: When you use someone's exact language, they don't feel like they're being sold to. They feel like they're being understood.

That's the difference between copy that converts and copy that struggles.

You're not trying to convince them. You're just showing them you've been listening.

One more thing: Keep the pain specific and visual.

Not "struggling with sleep." That's too vague.

"Can't remember the last time I felt like myself" is a gut punch. It's a feeling. You can picture the exhausted mom staring at herself in the mirror.

The more specific and visual the pain, the more it resonates.

So here's your homework (if you want it):

You'll be shocked how much better it performs than the "professional" copy you've been using.

I'll tell you if you're on the right track.

See you tomorrow,

Jeremiah

P.S. You’ve been getting this newsletter for a little while now, and I’m genuinely curious … what’s the #1 thing you’re still trying to solve when it comes to ecommerce growth? Just hit reply and let me know. I read every response.

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